US: We want Bin Laden.
US: Osama Bin Laden.
Taliban: We don't know him.
US: Sure you do. You've been hiding him for six years. Tall guy, beard, tends to blow up stuff.
Taliban: Ooooh, Bin Laden. Yeah. We don't really know where he is. He didn't do it anyway.
US: Right. Did you notice this fleet of aircraft carriers?
Taliban: Hold on now. We can work something out. I know a guy who knows a guy who can probably find him.
US: So bring him to us.
Taliban: No, no, he's pretty shy. We'll just ask him to leave. It's cool.
US: You'll ask him to leave? How about you just tell us where he is, exactly, and we'll go get him.
Taliban: Don't worry about it. We'll ask him to leave. He owes us a favor. He'll be cool. No need to attack us. We're cooperating, see? It's cool.
Taliban: By the way, we're gonna go ahead and ask all the Muslims worldwide to declare a jihad on the United States.