Good morning, Live Journal.
I haven't been much in the mood to post lately. I've been in somewhat of a "blah" mood this week. I didn't even manage to get myself into the office yesterday. I've been basically unmotivated to do much of anything, and I'm falling behind on some of my work here and at home as a result.
But don't worry, I have all weekend to catch up on everything.
Last night I had dinner with Danielle (yellzer), David (naughtybitz) and his friend Adam. We went to Café Bernardo downtown. I had never been there before. It was trendy and somewhat overpriced, but I had a pretty tasty chicken sandwich. I was a little disappointed because it cost like nine bucks but didn't even come with fries or anything. I had just assumed that a nine-dollar sandwich would not be served a la carte. But you know what happens when you assume.
After dinner we hung out at David's for a bit and watched Friends.
On Wednesday Joe mumbled something about our team getting some criticism for not working enough hours. He said it would probably be a good idea to get in the office at nine from now on. This morning I got to work at 8:30. It's now almost 9:30. There is still no one here but me. Maybe I should have just slept in. My head hurts.
I have no plans for the weekend. None at all, I mean, aside from sitting at the computer and trying to get some work done. Even that has been difficult lately. For every four hours at the computer I really seem to accomplish about one hour of actual billable work. I need to find a way to snap out of this. I think I might need some sort of change in my life. But I'm not sure what, exactly, has to change.
I do have a lot to be happy about, but my happiness only seems to live on the surface. Underneath it all, I'm full of doubt and insecurity and confusion. And most of all, conflict. Right now the thing that I'm most happy about is also the thing that makes me the saddest. It's one of those things about which I really can't go into detail, but the reality of my emotional dissonance might be taking its toll on me.
Then again, maybe I just need more caffiene.
"There is no one who loves pain itself, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is pain..."